Stumped (but ploughing through)


The whole experience of returning to a painting I had abandoned was not as bad as I thought it would be. I kinda got stumped and painting these portraits became a choir…no worse it was like pulling teeth…just did not want to do it…had reached some kind of impasse. 


But going away and giving painting a wide berth kinda renewed my interest in these portraits so I’ll do my best to complete the painting tomorrow…(hopefully)

Trying to find a release…

This weekend has been a blur.  I have been working so hard that events have just whizzed past me and I cant play catch up just yet …still have so much to do. Trying to keep myself grounded and not break down (which tends to happen when I push myself). Struggling to stay alert at the mo.  This is hard…wanting to chat but too tired to…(this is what happens when I overwork myself…need to chat but cant cos exhausted). 

Am I coping? I definitely hope so…

This is definitely a coping mechanism and I am done fighting it. Workload, deadlines…this is how I cope…by non stop blogging (defo seems nonstop in light of all that I have yet to do). So if, rather than get to work grappling with priorities, all I do is blog…there must be some method to this ‘madness’. And it had better pan out!

Something has to give…

Maybe I spoke too soon…and its a bit too late to be ‘cured’. My worst fears are ‘upon’ me -deadlines!!! I have one week to do a gazillion things and I just don’t know where to start…so I am doing  what comes most naturally and what has got me in this pickle in the first place -blogging!  I shouldn’t really beat myself up about this- cos maybe blogging…just might help me through the terror I feel right now – the knots in my tummy- maybe, just chatting will help me see the wood from the trees…maybe, I’ll be able to meet these looming deadlines and keep my sanity (and not go all headless chicken on myself)…maybe ‘chatting’ actually helps. And if it doesn’t ‘it had better!!!’ cos my deadlines are not going anywhere and I can’t see my fingers staying away from these keypads either. So something has to give…and it has to be these knots in my tummy!